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 (not done yet) The Red Rose

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the notebook writer
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PostSubject: (not done yet) The Red Rose   (not done yet) The Red Rose Icon_minitimeMon Mar 19, 2007 3:32 pm

The Red Rose

~Chapter 1~
Once upon a time, there was a girl. Her name was Roselle. She lived with her grandmother in the deep, dark woods. It used to be a bed and breakfast for travelers, until something terrible happened...something ruled over the woods. The travelers that used to go there every winter while they were chopping wood for their family and have left because of things that were in the woods.
"Roselle, where are you going? I told you can't go outside!" her grandmother said.
"But why? It's the woods. No one is ever here! Never mind. Grandmother?" Roselle just thought about her mother …and father...what happened to them?
"Yes, dear?"
"What happened to mother and father?" she was surprised at the look on her grandmother's face. Was her grandmother going to tell her? She kept looking at her grandmother and wondered if she was going to tell her.
"Well...Ummm...they...uhhh...you see…they got bit by...by a...ummm…by a wolf. Yes they got bit by a wolf. Yes, dear, that's why I don't want to let go out in the woods." Her grandmother started to cry. Roselle had a feeling that her grandmother was lying.
That night, when she went to sleep, Roselle had a dream...she saw a girl, it looked a lot like her, except she had brunet hair and she looked as if she was 18 or so. She was dancing with a man. Even though she looked like he was holding her up because her neck was red and shiny. He had long gray hair. It was pulled slick back in a ponytail. He had the largest widow's peek out of all the other...things? A long pair of sharp teeth, pale white skin, big widow's peek...the girl and the man was dancing with a vampire! Once the music stopped, everyone looked at Roselle! They all went toward her...she screamed, and then woke up. That was the weirdest dream that I ever had! How come it felt so real? Who was that girl? Roselle was so confused!
Her grandmother came in Roselle's room so fast as if she were expecting something wrong. "Are you alright, dear...What happened? … Are you hurt?"
"I'm fine! It was just a dream...or a nightmare. What did she look like," Roselle said, “mother, what did she look like?”
"That's a relief you’re o…,” she paused when she thought about Roselle’s mother, “your mother. Why do you ask?" Her grandmother was acting so different! Roselle was starting to get scared!
"I’m not sure. I was just wondering."
"Ahh. Well, your mother looked almost exactly like you. Except that she had brunet hair. Oh she was very beautiful, Roselle. I wouldn’t have ever taken you if she were still alive." The girl from my dream!!! It was my mother!!! Roselle thought.
"The girl from my dream." She whispered.
"What?" her grandmother was getting even more confused then she was five minutes ago, so is Roselle. "What did you say?"
"Nothing.” Roselle needed to find out what really happened, or if she saw what happened. “How old was mother when she died?" Roselle needed to find out what really happened, or if she really saw what happened.
"Ummm, Uhhh, The last time I saw your mother was when she was almost 18. Tell me your dream, Roselle." So Roselle told her everything. Every little detail.
"Tell me what really happened to mother and grandfather. Please! I need to know!" Roselle was almost begging on her knees now.
"I wasn't there when your mother died, but I’m sure I know how." Her grandmother took a big sigh, and told Roselle everything of what she knew. "Your grandfather and I were being over protective of your mother. We were only that way because we knew what things were out there, in the woods." Her grandmother was just starting. It almost sounded like a scary story that you would listen to at night, but it was 7am.
"Vampires" Roselle already knew the jiff of the story. The true story. She knew her grandmother didn't want to say it.
Her grandmother nodded her head, "He came to her in a dream and told her to come to the ball. And she went and left your grandfather and me. When she left, your grandfather went to follow her and then get back with her. He was too late, and to slow. He got bit when he was out in the woods. The professor knew what had happened. He and his young partner, who also had a love interest with your mother, went to find the..." She still couldn't say it.
"Vampire" Roselle had a feeling that the long gray haired man in her dream was the one that her mother was talking about.
"Yes Roselle." her grandmother had stopped crying.
"Do you know who my father is?" Roselle looked at her grandmother slowly.
"I'm so sorry. I don't know." her grandmother gave Roselle a big hug, and squeezed her tight.
"Am I a vampire?" her grandmother didn't know what to say. She didn't know for sure. And if she did, she didn't know how to tell Roselle.
"I don't know...I don't know." Her grandmother started crying again. Just enough that only one tear fell on Roselle's head.

~Chapter 2~
It was a quite day. Everywhere but in Roselle's head. She kept thinking. Asking herself questions...Am I a vampire?...Who is father?...What will happen next?...she couldn't stop pondering about that morning. And the day kept getting weirder!
That night, Roselle was brushing her hair in her room then suddenly, a rock hits her window. She went to the window and looked out, there was a man, He looked young, but more 18 or so. To old for Roselle. She put on her overcoat and went outside to see who the young man was. His hair was slicked back, but short, and it was dark brown. She recognized him from somewhere. But how?!? The only people she had ever met before, was her grandmother. The only place where he could've been for miler would be...HER DREAM!!! He was in her dream! But the one that was standing outside her window had a widow's peek. And the one from her had no widows’ peek, even though it was slicked back. She opened the door, she saw him still standing in front of her window. Then he saw her. Roselle looked back at the clock for just a second, and when she looked back, he was standing right in front of her. She screeched and fell to the ground.
"I'm terribly sorry Roselle. Let me help you." he said.
"No! I'm fine, Thank you. Wait! How do you know my name?!?" Roselle started to give him a dirty look.
"Your mother sent m..."
"MY MOTHER IS DEAD!!!" write? She is dead?!?
"Your mother is undead. She sent me to ask you to a ball." He looked at Roselle without blinking. It mad her feel uncomfortable.
"Is the ball going to be anything like the one she went too?" She looked at him, and gave him one of her I-own-this-place looks. The funny thing was he responded as if he already knew this would happen. "Wait. Why couldn't my mother come herself?"
He got a mad/jealous face on. "She's with her lover."
"What is your name?" Roselle seemed to be so calm now.
"My name is Alfred," He held out a hand. "Please to meet you again Roselle."
Roselle smiled and shook Alfred's hand. "Thank you. Alfred,"
"Yes Roselle?"
"Do you have any children?" She was actually hoping that he was her father.
"No. Your mother dumped me for Him. He now has two children. Herbert and..."
"Herbert! That's the weirdest name ever! Could you repeat his other child please?"
"You." He was barley whispering! Roselle couldn't hear him.
"Who?" She was starting to get scared.
"You!" Alfred was almost yelling now! It scared Roselle.
"Me! Me..." She kept thinking...I am a vampire!...over and over again.
Chapter 3
Some time past as Roselle kept looking at Alfred, then at her house. What if this was all a lie, or joke. What if she was just dreaming. Or, maybe she was really a vampire. Maybe she was a daughter of some really creepy, old, gray haired, sharp toothed, widowed peek guy. Roselle jittered just thinking about it. And it was getting a little chilly. She chitered her teeth, then hugged herself tight. Alfred took off his coat and put it around her shoulders.
"If you want to see your mother, you'll have to come with me now." Now! Roselle didn't even think about leaving her grandmother. She raised her. She couldn't just leave.
"How long will I be gone for?" Roselle asked.
"A couple days. Weeks or months if you like it.".....weeks...months...away from grandmother...that wasn't fair.....Roselle thought.
"Could I visit my grandmother anytime I wanted to?"
"Of course. But we have to go. Tell your grandmother bye and that you'll be back." Roselle could tell that Alfred was in a hurry. So she hurried up to her grandmother's room, kissed her forehead, then wrote her a note...
Dear Grandmother,
I am going to go see mother for a while. I promises to come visit you. I am going to the ball, then I will come straight back and visit for a week. But a belong with them. You know that. I love you so much! Please don't go out looking for me. I'm in good care with Alfred, the professor's partner, I know! I'll see you in a couple days!
I'll miss you, Roselle Ann Monarch
She left the note by her grandmother's hairbrush, then changed out of her night cloths into one of her mother's most elegant dresses. It was white with transparent roses on it. She also had some shoes to go with it. They were white high-heels. After she put her clothes on she put her hair up in a bun and tied a white ribbon on it.
"I'm ready." When Roselle stepped out Alfred was amazed of how much she looked like Sarah, her mother.
"You look so much like your mother." He smiled, then let out his hand so he could assist her to her new home.

~Chapter 4~
"Oh my gosh!!!" They weren't even in the Castle yet. Roselle knew that vampire's lived in big castles with 1000 acres of graveyard, but she never really thought about it. She was also surprised that she was going in the house. She thought only the "Dracula", his family, servants/butlers, and friends were aloud in the castle. She guessed she was just reading too many books.
"Shall I assist you to your room?” Alfred knew what she was thinking. Every little bit.
Roselle smiled then looked up at him and said, "That would be wonderful!" As they walked up to her room she had to ask Alfred a question..."I thought that only the "Dracula" family could go into the castle, other than balls."
"I can see you read. The "presents", as you would call them, are aloud in the castle, but only on "Dracula's" knowing. Or if they are family." Roselle stopped. Was Alfred saying that she was family of the "Dracula". He looked back at her after he noticed that she stopped, laughed, then nodded. It was like he could read her mind or something, oh wait, he could. Vampires have special powers...and weaknesses. Why didn't Roselle have any powers or weaknesses? He took her arm again and kept leading her to her room...That's right...he told me before that I was his daughter...but he didn't tell me that he was one of those "Dracula" things...Roselle thought.
"Are you saying that my father is..."
"Yes. And he is not "Dracula" even though he is like him. His name is Von Krolock. So what do you think about the castle so far?"
"It's beautiful! Much better than my, I mean, my grandmother's house." That made Roselle sad. Just thinking. This place is more beautiful than ever, but it could never top all the memories at her...her grandmother's house.
There was a lot of silence the rest of the way to her room. "You like it?"
"Oh my gosh! Are you serious? This is my room?" She was in shock! The room was so beautiful. The colours all mixed together. The different shades of brown and dark reds. The huge bedspread that matched the curtain, carpet, towels in the bathroom, and the walls too! She couldn't believe it.
Alfred got on his knees in front of Roselle and held both of her arms and said, "Roselle if you need anything, just yell. I'll come running up so fast. And you know it! I have to go downstairs to see Von Krolock. If you need help settling in just ask Fred or Betty. They might be a little of a surprise for you, but you'll get used to them. I'll see you tomorrow." When Alfred, even though he kneeled down he was still only a little shorter than Roselle, he gave Roselle a kiss on the forehead then left.
"So I guess I'm on my own now. Unless...Betty? Fred? Betty can you hear me? Fred are you there?" She didn't know what Alfred meant by a little surprise, but she didn't really believe him. How can a couple of people be a surprise to her? "What people they are! They don't even acknowledge me. Oh w...Ahhhh!!!!!!"
"We aren't people!" A spider came down from the ceiling and landed on Roselle's shoulder. It sounded like a man with a deep voice. He didn't have an English ancient though. She was in shock. She pinched herself to see if she was dreaming...and she wasn't...there was actually a spider talking to her!
"Oh stop that Fred. You're scaring the poor little girl." Another spider now. Except she sounded nice. She a soft sound. "Hello Dear. I'm so sorry that we are coming on to you like this. You're problem not used to talking to spiders. Or even just seeing them like a friend. Oh my! I forgot to introduce myself. Dear me. My name is Betty. That over there is Fred. And, oh, pardon me, Andréa and Andrew, you can come out now. These are our two children. Andrea..."
"It's a pleasure to meet you Roselle." Andrea seemed like a sweet little spider child.
"The pleasure’s mine, thank you." Roselle was pleased to meet them even though she was shocked.
"And this is Andrew." Betty introduced.
"Hello Roselle. You look very nice this evning." Andrew was a very kind spider child.
"Thank you. You look nice yourself. Excuse for asking, but are you magic spiders or something." Roselle had to ask.
"Heavens no child," Betty said, "Alive people can't see us, only the undead. Like zombies, vampires, werewolves aren't really the undead but they can hear us. Pixies and Fairies can hear us too."
"You're saying, that all those things that people read about in books are real!" Roselle exclaimed. "That's amazing!"
"You wanna a tour through the castle? Or are ya just gonna stay 'er?" Fred said.
"Actually, I'm sort of tired. Why not tomorrow?" Roselle yawned and then put on a nightgown that she found in her dresser before she went to bed. "Betty?"
"Yes dear."
"Could you sing me a lullaby? My grandmother used to sing me one every night. I think it would make me feel more at home."
"Of course dear." She smiled and started singing hush little baby. It was almost instant that Roselle started sleeping...dreaming..."It's been a long day, now close your eyes tight." right away Roselle's eyes closed and she fell asleep, but she could still hear the singing. "Wake up to tomorrow’s sunlight." Roselle saw the her wake up to the sun. "Hush little baby, don't you dare cry. Sleep away now, and then you'll find, a soft teddy bear, asleep in the clouds," Roselle saw a soft teddy bear sleeping in the clouds. It was so peaceful to her. "Magical horses to ride. A far away land, pretty in pink. And you the princess of all." Roselle saw herself riding a horse in front of a pretty-in-pink castle. "So hush little baby, sleep and dream. Let go of all that don't matter. You'll see your mum soon. Your father as well. Now sleep away, and dream into the night_" Roselle dreamed and felt so comfortable. She felt as if she were sleeping on a cloud.
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Tears_of_Thoth
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(not done yet) The Red Rose Empty
PostSubject: Re: (not done yet) The Red Rose   (not done yet) The Red Rose Icon_minitimeMon Mar 19, 2007 7:10 pm

Took me a few minutes to read through this (I'm a fast reader) and I thought, wow

I noticed a couple of formatting and grammar problems and a few inaccuracies. (Like 7AM, because every fantasy story I've read in my life never gives out exact times, they usually just say "the morning") But other than that, I liked it very much. Very Happy
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http://www.myspace.com/merytre_nilesong
the notebook writer
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PostSubject: Re: (not done yet) The Red Rose   (not done yet) The Red Rose Icon_minitimeTue Mar 20, 2007 10:15 am

yeah i know .... i wrote this a LOOOOONNNNNGGGG time ago and you should see the first parts ... lol .... wait here is it it's REALLY BAD ! lol

http://www.freewebs.com/121theredrose121/
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PostSubject: Re: (not done yet) The Red Rose   (not done yet) The Red Rose Icon_minitimeWed Mar 21, 2007 12:53 pm

Your web design skills are eye-popping: Shocked I still need to work on my notebook site: www.geocities.com/the_scribess/

I'm in class right now (shame on me for not learning my German!), so I can't read the draft, but it can't be too bad if you were brave enough to post it. I don't even want to think about the first draft of SSSV- it was called Kiya: Beloved of Seshat and it would have been a real bomb had I kept most of the ideas from it. >_<


Last edited by on Wed Mar 21, 2007 9:43 pm; edited 1 time in total
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http://www.myspace.com/merytre_nilesong
the notebook writer
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Number of posts : 49
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(not done yet) The Red Rose Empty
PostSubject: Re: (not done yet) The Red Rose   (not done yet) The Red Rose Icon_minitimeWed Mar 21, 2007 3:13 pm

german's easy wonce you know it .... i grew up with the language but i'm just starting to read it .... my aunt from germany sent me a german children's book ... which a third grader could read but for not growing up with reading and writing and going to school with it ... i don't think i'm that bad ... lol ... keep working at it ... it's really simple when you know it ...and sound the words out slowly so you get all the vowles and the other things likt k,p,l (whatever their called) but good luck
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C.o.o.k.i.e.M.o.n.s.t.e.r
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PostSubject: Re: (not done yet) The Red Rose   (not done yet) The Red Rose Icon_minitimeSun Mar 25, 2007 6:50 pm

Good job.
I really like the name of the story.
And I didnt really see anything wrong with it.
But I did agree with Alanna (Tears of Thoth) with the whole time thing.
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PostSubject: Re: (not done yet) The Red Rose   (not done yet) The Red Rose Icon_minitimeMon Mar 26, 2007 9:16 am

haha .... it's acctually a sequal to another story ..... ummm it's called tance der vampire ... it's german .... ummm yeah that's it .... they have some parts of the play on youtube but i don't know if you would understand them .... them being in german and all .... haha .... but you can check it out if you want
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PostSubject: Re: (not done yet) The Red Rose   (not done yet) The Red Rose Icon_minitimeFri Mar 30, 2007 12:43 pm

Wow. That site with the Red Rose story on it is so cool looking. I didn't read the entire story yet, lol, but I will.
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the notebook writer
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(not done yet) The Red Rose Empty
PostSubject: Re: (not done yet) The Red Rose   (not done yet) The Red Rose Icon_minitimeSat Mar 31, 2007 3:46 pm

yeah there's a lot of errors on that one but it's the same thing i have on as the post ... just this one shouldn't have as many spelling and grammer errors
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