i found this on suicide.com it helped me i hope it helps u
Well here you are
at the edge of the abyss...
at the beginning of infinity
heaven or h***
an afterlife
or a nothingness
forgiveness
or an eternity of suffering ?
Does anyone really know ?
Why have you come here ?
What do you need ?
To Find a Way to Live ?
or To Find a Way To Die ?
_ _ _ _ _ _ _
Here is a cup of pills
with the power
of life, and death.
What would you like these pills to do for you ?
Maybe you want to take them to die . . . ?
But I ask you now..
how many of these pills
would you take each day to live ?
To feel good, normal good, like everyone else ?
Stable, not depressed, even happy, but normal ?
These are some of the pills I take every day
to save my life.
They are not herbs or antidepressants.
I feel happy, I feel pretty good, I feel normal.
I am grateful.
It's been 15 years now that my life stay
on earth has been voluntary.
You have a chance right now
to start your life over
instead of trying to end it.
You can resurrect yourself
from this living death
to restore and re-start your life anew.
Subject: suicide 
Mon Jul 30, 2007 9:01 am
